The act of forgiving is the beginning of a brighter future.
The loss of healthy emotional/psychological energy in maintaining a grudge, especially over a long
period of time, is staggering. Yet most people are unaware of how corrosive and far reaching the
long term effects of "hangin' on" to the past really is.
So, what is it to forgive? Is it even possible to really do it on the deepest emotional level where it
has to happen to do any good? Most approaches to forgiveness are actually confrontational in
nature, requiring an almost inhuman will and god-like consciousness to accomplish. But is this
realistic? More importantly, are there any real benefits in forgiving?
Those clanging the forgiveness bell typically have one approach: "Just do it..." But when it comes
to something as beneficial as forgiving some person or event or situation, we need to see real
results. If you're ready to let go of past events you can't change anyway, be prepared to face your
monsters and to understand how they have infected your core beliefs. And how your core beliefs
perpetuate whatever it is you're shackled with.
A) Way back when, something terrible happened.
B) That something made you feel bad, angry, sad, helpless, vulnerable, alone, victimized, betrayed,
all of the above and more.
C) You developed painful feelings, which have sapped the vitality from your life.
D) You adapted your beliefs and behavior to either compensate for or accommodate A-C. (messy)
E) At some point in life, maybe years after the fact, you realized you've been robbed by all this
F) Someone comes along and gleefully shouts "Forgiveness is the Way to Salvation!"
G) You try to forgive but get nowhere because you've been taught that forgiveness is tough,
confrontational, and takes years of therapy.
H) Because you're still looking at A the same way you did while living in B-D, the term "Mexican
Standoff" takes on new meaning.
I) And so, the Endless Loop continues: Nothing changes.
The premise of this non-religious but spiritual approach goes something like this: Look for and
find the Gift inside A, consider the meaning of it, when you accept the meaning, the Mexican will
blink and your view of A will move off center, all on its own.
There is, of course, more to it than this and this is not the only technique you'll learn, but once you
grab the common underlying principles you'll see what a simple process it is to forgive. Not
necessarily easy, emotionally speaking, but uncomplicated. And you will be able to do these on
These are spiritual techniques, not psychotherapy. Register early.
Because of the nature of this work, and because every participant will get the opportunity to work
on a real issue, I must limit class size. Also, what happens in this workshop, stays in this workshop.
Finding the Gift